By Paul Goldfinger

Winter was breathing its last in Ocean Grove, and things began to stir in town, indicating the start of another season at the shore. Despite the cool weather, some people started wearing shorts, tulips and daffodils popped out, and bicycles whizzed by. Tickets became available on-line for the Great Auditorium, and people began to wonder who was older: Neal Sedaka or Kenny Rogers. Soon the porch sales would begin.

Ocean Grove is a small town, but its size doesn’t insulate it from large controversies. We have worried about taxes, politics, crime, parking, religious freedom and civil rights. The Historic Preservation Commission muddled its way through the retaining wall brouhaha several years ago and recently stepped into the north end muck and mire, courageously sticking up for our historic heritage. Then things quieted again, but now another pressing matter has descended onto Ocean Grove: it’s the dramatic saga of the grassy strip (aka the “grass strip”).

The idea is to have grass in the space between the sidewalk and the curb. It’s supposed to look nice in the Historic District and to help with drainage. There is a Neptune Township ordinance requiring that you install a grassy strip if you redo your curbs. If you leave your curbs alone, then you are grandfathered or grandmothered in and are not required to do anything. For years the HPC worried about all sorts of historic preservation issues such as vinyl siding, fences, house colors, gingerbread, porches, etc., but nothing much was said about the strips.

Now, seemingly out of the blue, the HPC (with the support of the Township Committee and the OGCMA) has made this an active issue, because homeowners have been violating the historic guidelines regarding the strips. Specifically, instead of grass, many strips now contain ground covers, trees, flowers, planters, little fences, and other dubious items.. As a result, people park and then cannot emerge out of their cars. People trip on things in the strips, especially in the dark. They fall over the fences, sustain injuries and then threaten to sue. This is the second leading cause of nocturnal tripping in Ocean Grove, next to falling over shoes in your own house.

Although some folks object to the threatened crackdown, others think that it is a noble endeavor. They point to safety and beautification issues as well as the concern about maintaining our historic designation.

Actually, nice grass is rarely seen in the strips about town. The most common grassy strip is the one where there are dirt, weeds and crabgrass. It seems that such dirt strips are acceptable, because they weren’t mentioned in the warning letters which were sent out recently by the HPC. This type of “dirty weed strip” actually has a certain charm. It is ubiquitous in town, it seems to fit with the old houses, it requires no care, and it evokes a time when horses roamed the dusty streets of Ocean Grove. Over the last 139 years, indestructible green weeds (grassy weeds) have evolved in the strips. They are a tribute to Darwinian selection and should be celebrated as a sort of historic artifact.

Another issue that has not been mentioned is that it is next to impossible to maintain grass in the grassy strips. I replaced my sidewalks four years ago and added a grassy strip. Since then it has been a losing battle. I did all the right things: tall fescue seeds, proper mowing, fertilizer, lime, preemergent chemicals, edging, aerating, thatching and raking. The grass always looks fine in June, but by August, it looks awful; then the cycle begins again. The forces of grassy deterioration include squirrels, drought, butt throwers, and dogs. Dog urine must be one of the most potent toxins on earth. It kills the grass instantly and it may be a cause of global warming.

Mayor Bishop says that no one will be issued a violation until the HPC presents the matter to the citizens at a meeting on May 6 at 7:30 pm, where everyone can calmly discuss their pain-in-the-grass concerns. After that, the HPC will make recommendations to the Committee. Then the Mayor and his colleagues will see if any town ordinance or historic guideline changes might be required.

At the Homeowners’ Association meeting on Saturday, it seemed that many people were irritated by the situation. Mr. Fran Paladino, President of the Homeowners’ Association, said that his group will not take a position regarding this matter until after all the facts have been revealed.

So now, we can add grass to the list of unresolved issues in Ocean Grove. Let’s forget about it all and go for ice cream.